life in the Belly

Today we are living in the belly of this nations congressional making. Why have the checks and balances not worked? Our free country that was taken from the true natives by immigrating pioneers is falling apart.

The poor can get more from the system, the middle class pays all the bills and the rich sit back and enjoy. Some would say “How can I think this”, let me put a bit of prospective into this belly life.

I personally know individuals that have maybe worked 8 to 10 years of their adult life and now they have claimed some type of disability, don’t get me wrong, some really need it, but however there are others that have figured out how to milk the system. These individuals get free medical, free food, free housing, just to name the most popular free things they get. Yet, all the time they are doing whatever they want or doing nothing at all. If these people can drive a car, clean their house, care for their yard, then they can work and make a living for themselves.

The middle class are the one with the load of bricks on their backs. They go to work every day for 40 to 50 years and sometimes to a dead-end job just to see their hard-earned paycheck dwindle away. It takes every penny they have to support their households and yet they have little and at the same time to much for any help or even a kick back. Then later in life they are past through the bowels of this nations system.

Then there are the rich, the ones in control. As they move about this troubling world they have no cares, now worries and no concerns about their future or the future of others living in the belly. They just go about life enjoying the spoils.

I think the time has come for this nation to receive an intestinal checkup and rid the belly of those that are not helping with the positive health growth of our nation.


Pro Trump “NOT”

Someone asked me what I thought about Trump and the fantastic job he was doing. I about fell off the chair I was sitting on. My polite answer was “He is the biggest idiot, un-presidential egomaniac I have ever seen”. They said, “so you are not for Trump, you must be for Hillary”. Well, no I am not for Hillary either. As the conversation went on it was very clear this person thinks Trump is the greatest thing that ever happened to our country and I knew the conversation was heading in the wrong direction. Therefore, I stopped talking and bit my tongue. Due to this conversation I have a few things I need to speak about and get off my chest.

If anyone thinks Trump is the greatest President, this country has had then tell me why you think that. Give me facts that prove this person should be in the position he is, to be in control of our futures, our lives, and to hold the title of President. What has Trump really done good for our country? Here are some of the things I see he has done along with statements he has said that I feel we the people should remove him from office.

I know Trump made some unorthodox statements while campaigning such as refusing to take vacations. Well what is he doing in Key largo all the time and who is flipping the bill for those trips. If you said the hard-working tax paying American, then you are right. It is our money that pays the secret service men appointed to him and his family. We pay for the cost of his use of Air Force One along with everything else he does. Some say he has this country saying “Merry Christmas” again, well it was never a law not to say “Merry Christmas”. Now granted he did make pledges that are conventional and the same as any other politician would make, such as a promise to cut taxes and fight terrorists. Let us explore a few of Trump’s campaign promises.

  • He said he was going to build a wall and make Mexico pay for it. That is like telling your neighbor whose kids and pets keep coming in your yard, that you are going to put up a fence but make them pay for it. How would your neighbor take it? I know mine would just laugh at me and say “yeah right, sure I am going to pay for your fence. NOT”
  • Banning Muslims from entering the United States, well then there needs to be a ban on Germans, Chinese, Romanians, Russians, and any other foreign person.
  • He wants to bring manufacturing jobs back to the United States, that is wonderful but where is the money for this to happen coming from. Most of these manufacturing companies moved to another country because of the cost savings.
  • He wants to (oops he has) impose tariffs on goods coming from Mexico and China. Well the wall should stop most products we use everyday coming from Mexico, such as most fruits and vegetables. And who needs goods coming from China, we can go without those goods and start buying those same goods right here in the United States, it may cost us twice as much but oh well Trump says he is making America great.
  • The withdraw from the North American Free Trade Agreement. What do you the people of the United States think that will do for us? Our country exports a lot of goods to other countries, such as grain and potatoes. I guess the real American this will hurt will be the American Farmer. Glad I know how to grow my own food.
  • Did his repeal of Obamacare help you? Did a market-based plan help you? I know for my family we did not save anything; our medical insurance is still outrageously priced, and we get very little coverage.

I could go on for days exploring the Trump changes to our country and the lack of thought he has put into those changes, but then I would start to feel like a dog chasing their tail. Dog_Chasing_Tail

When Trump says he is going to do something he says it in a vague manner, so he always has an out for not following through. Studies have shown “Voters generally do not punish candidates for being vague, and actually prefer the ambiguous promises over precise ones.” This allows voters to see what they want to see. Trump put it clear in a statement that “Everything is negotiable.” To me that means the people of the United States are something he can use as negotiating pieces in his game. He did use and is still using the lives of individuals that were brought to the United State illegally by their parents. Like those Dreamers as they are called had a choice. When you were a kid how much say did you have when your parent took you someplace. And yes, those kids could have applied for citizenship once they reach legal age but where would they have gotten the money to pay for the costs involved in that process. On top of that, these kids were raised, not to trust the United States government. Now Trump has shown why they should not trust the government, after all the voice of the majority does not work here anymore. We have a person sitting in the top seat of our country that uses peoples lives to get what he wants. Everything Trump does is only to benefit himself in some way, take his tax cuts for example.

While these tax cuts seem enticing, his plan is going to add trillions to the federal debt. His tax plan of a 37 percent cut only benefits the top 1 percent, according to the Liberal Citizens for Tax Justice. The Tax Policy Center has calculated the average tax cuts for the rich and the very rich to be about $275,000 or right around 17 percent. Almost 20 percent or $1 million for those in the top 0.1 percent, you know those certain individuals making over $3 million. Meanwhile middle-income households, will only see around $3,000 less in taxes, which equals about a 5 percent reduction. Those making the least amount will see the least tax cut, they will only see about $130 or about a 1 percent cut in taxed income. This plan that Trump has put into place will increase the number of households paying no income tax at all from 70 million to 100 million. I am not even going to go into the reforms to the corporate tax code due to the fact I am a small business owner that in the Trump future I will no longer be, just because I am only a small business that the tax plan does not help. Trump’s plan will reduce federal revenues by at least $10 trillion over the next decade. That is less money to keep the doors of our government open and keep this country running. That means there must be huge spending cuts with in the government and that is going to lead to a collapse of our countries infrastructure. So, you may need to take a different route to work and learn how to dodge pot holes because there will be no money to fix the roads or bridges you travel on to get to work. While on the tax subject why has Trump not released his tax returns?

There is a promise Trump has reneged on. He has given so many excuses as to the reasoning, such as, he is going through and audited, Richard Nixon was being audited and was still able to release his income tax information. Maybe Trump is hiding something, after all he has tried to hide other things. He has said that “There’s nothing to learn from them.” On the contrary we might learn that he does not make has much money as he has said or makes more. But he is the type that if he made more he would have to brag about it. We might find out how much he really pays in taxes, which could be a large amount but then it could be very little or nothing. He boasts about how he gives to charity; his returns could show he only gives a small amount if any at all. The American people would learn which deductions and tax credits he uses, or the truth about his investments. His returns could reveal his business partners or who he owes money to. It would show what he writes off as business expenses and how much money he keeps in foreign accounts like in Russia. A few of the excuses he has given are that his taxes are not any different than others, I bet they are different than mine. I think the one excuse that shows that Trump thinks he is so smart even smarter than we the people, is the excuse that the American people “would not understand them. In my profession I deal with tax laws and tax forms, so I would understand them as would most and if we do not understand them we have the possibility of an IRS auditor explaining them in detail.

He even has family giving excuses as to why he should not release his taxes. Like the excuse that it would be “foolish” “there would be a bunch of people who know nothing about taxes trying to look through and trying to come up with assumptions on things that they know nothing about.” That statement just shows that Trump and his littles think the American people a stupid. Trump has gone on about the fact his tax returns is a 12,000-page tax return and would not make sense to open. That just sounds like a lot of pages, but it could take that many to hide whatever it is he is hiding. Then came the blame Clinton excuse in the fact that a lot of his write-offs have been depreciation which is a tax loophole and when Clinton was a senator some of those loopholes were close along with others that Trump may have used to pay no federal income taxes. Trump as more excuses than a zebra has stripes. pexels-photo-925898.jpeg

It is not just reporters that want his returns released but 75 percent of Americans and 50 percent of Republicans (His own party) want to see Trump’s returns. Has he stated in a damn tweet “Maybe I’ll release them after I’m finished, because I’m very proud of them actually. I did a good job.” (Most of his tweets, okay all of his tweets make him sound like a 5-year-old that just made it through the night without wetting the bed.) Two out of three voters now believe a law needs to be passed that requires future presidential candidates to release a few of their past tax returns. I totally agree. Trump will now be audited, every year as an IRS practice that was put in place in the 1970s, that must suck. Then there is his claim that he has a “bombshell” in his taxes and it is very complicated. I believe Trump has not paid federal income taxes for at least 10 to 15 years, maybe even more.

Everything Trump says or does it an indicator of his integrity and show what type of a person he is. If you had a person in your life who lies about everything to you, how long before you would no longer trust them? How about a person’s conduct, what does that say about them? During the presidential campaign, more than a dozen women accused Donald Trump of sexual misconduct. He called them liars and promised to sue the accusers after the election was over. There is a recording of Trump using vulgar terms about women. The conversation was caught on a hot microphone with him saying, “when you’re a star, they let you do it.” Why is it the other male individual involved has been held accountable for those comments, but Trump has not, what does that say to the American people? Trump says “The events never happened. Well if he has never shown sexual misconduct then why are there several women who have the same story of sexual misconduct. I believe that if you are caught on tape like that and then to have these women speak up, there must be a problem with your character and your integrity to lead a country. If he cannot be faithful to a spouse, then how can he be faithful to this country.

Trump needs removed from office due to the facts of how he has conducted himself, how he has belittled others, especially other country leaders, that is not presidential conduct, and he needs to be removed before he completely destroys our relationships with our allies and gets us bombed. Yes, our country has issues, but the way Trump is handling them is not a safe healthy way for this country. I say we the people of the United States of America need to stand together and have Trump impeached. I love my country and I love my life and I am not ready to have some arrogant egotistical hot head take that all way. We as a country should be working to bring about world peace not world destruction.

So what does this face say to you about where our country is going?

Photos by Gage Skidmore

Daily Prompt: Encrusted

pexels-photo-236110.jpegWe start this life as a clean slate, without prejudgment or prejudice for anything or anyone. Free to learn and feel what is natural, the way nature intended us to be. Then we grow and learn about things taught to us, whether it be from those that raise us or from our surroundings.

We learn the basics first and grow from there. We learn love and acceptance, but we also learn hate and bigotry. Some of us grow to become encrusted with so much love and acceptance, that we in turn put forth the same love and acceptance towards others. However, some of us become encrusted with hate and bigotry and inflict it towards others.

Anyone who watches the news or reads a newspaper can see the actions of both love and hate. Some would say it is balance but is it really balanced? Look yourself in the eye and ask yourself, “What am I encrusted with”? if you love the answer then go forth in life. On the other hand, if the answer is not of your liking then change, learn new, put forth into this life what you want back.


via Daily Prompt: Encrusted

Seven Sin, Seven Virtues

Presently someone used the term “glutton” to describe another person’s behavior and the description made me think “we all are guilty of being a glutton now and then” (stop and truly think about it yourself). As I thought about the term and pondered on the meaning and the context for which it was use I found it conjured up where the term came from. My mind wandered into the realm of the “seven deadly sins”, the “capital vices or cardinal sins.

These sins or vices are a group of Christian teachings of behaviors that have a classification as being the birth for other immoral habits. Abusive actions or extreme versions of the humans’ natural feelings or passions. The standard list of these so-called sins are Pride, Greed, Lust, Envy, Gluttony, Wrath, and Sloth. However, in my search for more information about these sins I discovered the contrary of these seven sins are “seven virtues”. The virtues being Humility, Kindness, Abstinence, Chastity, Patience, Liberality and Diligence.

If we were to apply the seven virtues to the seven sins what we would have? Humility against pridekindness against envyabstinence against gluttonychastity against lustpatience against wrathliberality against greed, diligence against sloth. I strongly feel that as a human, I must know the virtues so that I am able to recognize the vices or is it the other way around.

I grabbed my Merriam Webster dictionary and look up each sin and each virtue. Pride: the quality or state of being proud, such as an inordinate self-esteem, a reasonable or justifiable self-respect, delight or elation arising from some act, possession, or relationship (I would say a parent’s pride).
Humility: freedom from pride or arrogance, the quality or state of being humble.
Greed: a selfish and excessive desire for more of something (such as money) than needed.
Liberality: the quality or state of being liberal or giving.
Lust: pleasure, delight, wish usually intense or unbridled sexual desire, an intense longing or craving.
Chastity: the quality or state of being chaste, such as abstention from unlawful sexual intercourse or abstention from all sexual intercourse (such as a priest’s vow), purity in conduct and intention, restraint and simplicity in design or expression.
Envy: painful or resentful awareness of an advantage enjoyed by another joined with a desire to have the same advantage.
Kindness: the quality or state of being kind.
Gluttony: excess in eating or drinking, a greedy or excessive indulgence.
Abstinence: the practice of abstaining from something, the practice of not doing or having something that one wants or enjoyable.
Wrath: strong vengeful anger or indignation, retributory punishment for an offense or a crime. 
Patience: the ability, habit, or fact of being patient.
Sloth: disinclination to action or labor avoidance.
Diligence: steady, earnest, and energetic effort, persevering application, the attention, and care legally expected or needed of a person.

We must know a virtue to be able to recognize the vice. So, go forth into the present world with humble pride, a selfish need to give. Lust for the purity of life, be enviously kind to others, but abstain from gluttonous habits. Ensue patients with your wrath and always be diligent against slothfulness.

via Daily Prompt: Present


My Little Pink Stool

Once when I was a little girl just cute and small Not very tall at all
Grandpa made me a little pink stool
That helped me stand tall to reach the switches on the wall.

I stood tall with my little pink stool
My Grandpa made for me when
When I was just small, and my little legs would not do.

As I grew and grew, it was not long before I knew
I stood tall to reach the switches on the wall
No help from my little pink stool at all, who knew.

It was long before Grandpa said goodbye to all
He never made another pink stool for anyone at all
Not for a Granddaughter Greater than all, just as cute and small
Like me, she was not very tall at all.


My little pink stool was all my Daughter the Granddaughter Greater
And I had to reach the switches on the wall
Until we had grew and grew tall.

Grandpa has long been gone
My Daughter the Greater has grown tall
She now reaches the switches on the wall

How and where has my little pink stool gone?
It is not where it should belong.
My little pink stool stolen away by one tall enough
To reach the switches on the wall, without a thought at all

They knew not my Grandpa ever at all
A Profuse promise they did give to me
The day when four could reach the switches on the wall
Then my little pink stool and I would reunite with heart felt delight.

That day when four could reach the switches on the wall
Has come and gone ho so long ago.
How could I have trusted a tyrant so tall and cruel?
Now my little pink stool is gone from those who knew

Taken away from me and all, by a tyrant oh so tall
Lost to me, my little pink stool the tyrant stole
But not the memories of long ago
The day when Grandpa made my little pink stool
That was with me as I grew and grew.

This I dedicate to my Wonderful Grandpa Orvin and my Little Pink Stool


Incomprehensible Mysteries

In a world full of incomprehensible mysteries and unexplainable events. History shows how humans keep taking two steps forward and then one step backwards. I believe it is because of this repeated process that some of the human world have a perplexing lack of understanding.

Most recent written and verbal notices given to a certain individual told them they were not welcome in a certain place (country). These notices made it very clear for them not to come. Yet that individual with their immeasurable lack of thought or awareness of others went anyway. I find that type of mindset inscrutable and I am pretty much accepting of the mysterious and unexplainable.

Being raised with bedtime stories and fairytales of things that most would deny existence of. However, not long ago I got to experience the sighting of a mysterious creature that only lived in fairytales. If it had not been for the modern technology and my desire to explore, I would have missed out on an enlightening moment.

Do you see
Now do you see

With this proof there are individuals just like the before mentioned, that will move about the land with an impenetrable lack of understanding for the world around them.


via Daily Prompt: Inscrutable

Shock is an Understatement

Every day I sit down to watch the world news, only to get feelings of sadness and a fearful pain of doom. I ask why? Why are we as a nation of free speech, of free will, a nation that use to be for the people by the people.

This nation’s founding fathers had a vision of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness and these visions were more, they were the backbone of this country. Many gave up their lives for this vision, for this nation. Yet, for some reason this nation’s voting process has place an idiot in the position of leader. The original founding fathers would be in complete shock if they were to see what has become of their vision. To see that the people have not stood up secured these visions these rights.

The Declaration of Independence, says the establishment of governments is among men and derives its just powers from the consent of the governed. It also says, that whenever any form of government becomes destructive of these visions of life, liberty, and happiness, it is the right of the people to alter or to abolish that government, and to institute a new government.

Well people of the United States of America here is a shock alert. We have a Self-Proclaimed Prince named Trump, running the government. Our country it is no longer by the people or for the people. Trump has proven himself unprofessional, childish, and spoilt. His actions, tweets, social post, and recorded comments define him as a tyrant. By this it shows and proves him unfit to be a Ruler, a Leader, or a President of a Free People.

I beg you the people of this nation go read The Declaration of Independence and see for yourself the shocking realization of this counties state.



via Daily Prompt: Shock

Loopholes or Snares

As of the 20th of January, Trump will have been in office for one year and I still do not understand. How did someone who has no political background, no respect for anyone or anything; no foreign diplomatic experience, no scruples, and no professionalism become the chief? There had to be a loophole in the Presidential application.

Trump supporters shout that he has done so much for our country. I say like what? Tax cuts, sure that was just done, and it sounds great on paper (if you have time to read it) and it is the first major tax overhaul in almost 30 years. However, there are many hidden loopholes that help some in a high-income bracket and the rest can just suffer. Trump repealed the individual mandate for Obama-Care, but that does not take effect until 2019.

Trump nominated, and the U.S. Senate confirmed Justice Neil Gorsuch, the only decent thing that has happened.

Trump officially set a record for the most federal appellate judges appointed during the first year of a presidency, with 19. That is more than any other president before him. Richard Nixon and John F. Kennedy jointly held the record with 12. Well is that not part of his job? He has opened the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge for oil drilling. It will take time to see the repercussions from that. Trump made cracking down on illegal immigration the centerpiece of his campaign, granted illegal immigration is down by 23%, after all who wants to come to a country amongst the threats of nuclear war. The sad part is nuclear war will destroy everyone eventually does not matter what country.

It seems that no matter what Trump does there is always some loophole, gap, excuse, justification, or he just flat out lies about what he did or did not do.

With everything that has taken place all the loopholes should have been snares that by legal law should have Trump impeached and put in prison, I am sure he will make friends there. Some Things Just Need To Be Said

via Daily Prompt: Loophole

Daily Prompt: Relate

A Transformation, does anyone Relate?

The cause and effect of our Bundle of Joys Free Will. Let me lay the background of what I am about to say so you as the reader can understand where this comes from. For start if you have not read the post “Our Bundles of Joy and Free Will” then please go read that post before continuing, it will help paint a clear picture of what I am about to say.

A Transformation:

Here I am once again sitting in a court room for the, well I do not know how many times I lost count so long ago. I guess it does not matter other than here I am again. I realize though for the first time I have no tears flowing down my cheeks in anticipation for what is about to happen to my child, I really do not feel anything. However, sitting next to me is a woman, whom I believe is here due to the free will of her child.

I notice the tears flowing from her eyes and down her cheeks and I feel her pain and heartache. I wish I had some comforting words for her but, yet I have nothing. All I can say is “I am sorry for your heartache and for what you are going through”. She thanks me with that painful look in her eye. What she does not know is that I too have been in that state of pain and heartache. I have sat in the gallery of the courtroom and cried until I thought my eyes would fall out. It was at that moment I realized that for the first time I was not crying with sadness and heartache. Have I loss that unconditional love for my child? Have I become uncaring for what is about to happen to my child? What is wrong with me?

I still love my child with all my heart and soul, as any other mother would. I know I still love my child unconditionally however the tears of heartache do not flow. I care about my child and their wellbeing, yet here they are once again in a court room about to go before a Judge of the law. My child is about to have their “Free Will” crimes read to them and told of the punishments those crimes come with. Yet still no tears flow from my eyes. I care about what choices my child has made, I care about how my child will handle this round of punishment, will they survive these punishments, how is this going to change my child, yet still no tears flow from my eyes. Am I a broken mother, or I have been in this situation so many times and have gone through this same kind of heartache so many times that as a mother I have gone through some type of transformation.

Someone told me there is nothing wrong with me as a mother who loves her child unconditionally, I have just transformed into a different stage of motherhood. A stage that formed over the last nine (9) years of the same thing over and over, time after time, courtroom after courtroom, visitation after visitation and letter after letter. All of this caused a new type of motherhood that has been in the making due to my child’s “Free Will”. I have transformed into a parent that still unconditionally loves her child even though that child uses their “Free Will” to make wrong life choices and cause harm to themselves and to others. They have used their “Free Will” to cheat, steal and rip-off others along the way. However, I am not a parent that unconditionally accepts my child’s “Free Will” choices. I go through the days coping and waiting for the next transformation. I just wonder if the next transformation will be a positive one.

Will my child decide to use their “Free Will” to do the right things in life, to better themselves and move forward with a good life? Get a job, find a spouse, and begin a family. Or will the next transformation be one where I learn and cope with the fact that my child’s “Free Will” has destroyed them and they continue with the same cycle they have been on or worst.

Will their “Free Will” choices take their life and force me to learn how to live my life without them. Never hearing their voice, or the sound of their laughter. Never seeing the smile on their face, the twinkle in their eye, or feel the hug of their arms around me. Will my child go to a place they cannot return from and instead of visiting them on a visitation day, I take the time to visit their headstone instead? For now, I take one day at a time waiting for whatever and whenever the next transformation begins.

I pray for my child to use their “Free Will” for good and right, I do not think I can handle the other transformation. Until then all I can say is “It is About Time Some Things are Said”.

Sincerely the Mom of “Some Thing Just Need to Be Said”


Our Little Bundles of Joy and “Free Will”

Most parents or should I say almost all parents will proclaim that their children will never do anything wrong or at least wrong in the sense that would get them arrested. These parents will proclaim they have taught their children to be better citizens and the rules of their house would prevent such behavior. After all, when a child is born, the new parents do not hold their little bundle of joy and say to each other, “I wonder at what age this little bundle will do drugs or steal or maybe our bundle of joy will skip the little stuff and go right to committing murder”.

Well people I am here to inform you that your little bundle of joy will grow and learn and at some point, along the way, they will discover they have a thing called “free will”, and when they discover this they will learn exactly how they want to use their new found “free will” for themselves. You as the all-knowing guiding parent will become very confused on how fast the process takes. The precious little bundle that you held and rocked suddenly turned into this “free will” welding strange child standing before you and in just a small blur of time, they become an adult.

Now for some parent’s there comes a point when the child’s “free will” ushers in a stage of parenthood that you feel helpless. Your child’s decisions and actions feel like a chain around you dragging you along with nobody there to help or break the chain. It is a test that no loving parent ever wants to go through (Trust Me). It is a test where parents learn the true experience of unconditional love and at the same time feel the absolute crushing heartache of their child’s “free will”. As a parent who has gone through this with my own bundle of joy, I can speak from experience and from the heart. While struggling daily to keep it together and yet go about normal life it gets tough. With everything you are going through as parents with a child who choose destructive “free will” add the small-town gossip.

Yes, on top of what you are struggling with also comes the time when you discover the naysayers of your community. Every community has those that decide they know more than enough to pass judgment upon you, your household rules, and any other factors they can think of. As if they know what it is like, they do not live in your house so how do they know your household rules. They have never taken the time to be a friend so how do they know you as a person. At the same time, this is where you find your true support and where those that truly care about you as a person and care about your family, shine through and for no other reason than to be there just because they care and some are there because they have walked your path.

It does not matter what the rules are in your house, or how you teach your children from an early age how to respect others, or teach them proper manners, at some point “free will” kicks in and takes over. Example you have taught your child to use color crayons on paper and in coloring books then one day you discover crayon on the wall. Lesson time, you show your child that coloring on the wall is wrong and that we do not color on the wall. Then for just a brief moment, you turn your attention to something else and when you turn, back to your child, there as bold, as can be is coloring on the wall. This lesson along with the proper punishments can go on for a long time but by the time your child is 12 years old what is the point, they know coloring on the wall is wrong, but they do anyway. Then the next thing you find is that your pre-teen child has discovered drugs, I will tell you now the real pain and suffering begins, because unlike the color crayons on the wall that you can clean or paint over, with drug addiction there is no amount of scrubbing or painting that makes it just disappear that quickly.

Day after day and moment after moment you live with your heart precariously balanced on the tip of a scale knowing at any time your child’s “free will” can cause that scale to tip one way or another. Your phone rings when you answer the voice that comes through is the voice of your child saying, “Mom, I am ok, but I have been arrested and I think I will be spending some time in jail”. The scale tips just ever so slightly to give your heart some relief and you can take a breath with a slight sigh of relaxation. Yes, I know the feeling very, well actually more than I would like to know. However, the scale could tip the other way and that is an experience I never want to feel. My greatest fear I live with due to my child’s destructive “free will”.

You are not expecting company yet there is a knock on the door when you open it there stands a high-ranking officer and one other officer and they ask if they can come in. At that moment your knees go weak, your heart pounds, you feel as if you cannot breathe, you greet them into your home. As you sit, and they proceed to tell you that they have, some bad news they must deliver. Another agency has been in contact with their agency and they believe your adult child’s body has been located and they need you to go with them.

I can only imagine it is at that very moment the scale tips completely over throwing your heart to the ground and shattering into a million pieces. Your mind goes to another place a place where your child was once small, before “free will” had a chance to catch hold. A time when making a silly face would make them laugh and giggle, a time when coloring on the wall would have been a masterpiece. A time you would trade anything and everything you own just, so you can to go back and try again, maybe you can do something different that would change this outcome. When your mind returns to a somewhat coherent state, you realize your spouse is helping you with putting your shoes on. The officer is still talking about some process that will need to take place and where you will be able to pick up your child’s personal belongings. After a positive identification of the body, you will need to sign some forms for the release of your child’s body for burial. I believe in reality you would only hear “Bla bla bla”.

I say to everyone who decides you know more than enough to pass on parental judgment, STOP, and think about how you would cope if it was you and your child going through this life. Do not judge that parent; they have enough heartache, they do not need more. Be a support, if you do not know what to say then just give them a hug or say, “hello it is nice to see you today”. If you are unable to do that, or you feel it is beneath you, then please keep your God giving judgements to Yourself.

I say to my adult child that their “free will” has not killed them, however they still go about their days as if it is one big party of fun or their “free will” has once again put them sitting locked in the custody of some legal agency. And while they are waiting for that legal system to decide where you will be living and for how long, my heart aches with a pain that I cannot describe and an anger of what did I do wrong.

I ask you child; how would you cope if this was your child and you were the parent living through these same “free will” choices that you have made? What more needs to happen before you change your “free will” into positive choices and productive living.

Some Things Just Need to Be Said